It is the holiday season. You see couples holding hands everywhere you go. You are single and alone. Why is it that everyone has a companion except me?
PAUSE. Instead, are you ready to date? How can you tell if you are ready? After all, time cannot be gotten back. Hence, avoid spending time on a relationship when it is clear that you are not ready.
#1 You are independent
Being independent is a sign of maturity. If you are still dependent on your parents or family members for your day-to-day life, then you are not ready to be a in a relationship.
Being independent means that you can and know how to handle the important and basic things in life such as being able to take good care of yourself (physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually and mentally), being able to anticipate problems and solve them, has a growth attitude and mindset.
You will not want to waste time and energy from facing unnecessary heartaches!
See Point 2 in this article. #2 You communicate openly
Communication is key to any relationship. It includes more than words; body language.
You may be quiet and private. That is fine. You do not need to share everything that is on your mind all the time. Take small steps to voice your thoughts and feelings. If your partner is one whom you cannot be open with, then it would be better to put this relationship on hold.
Learn to express yourself clearly. Miscommunication will lead to misunderstandings. Unresolved misunderstandings will grow to hurt the relationship. It may be too late when you realize.
#3 You are alone but not lonely
There is a huge difference in being alone and being lonely. You will be all right with being alone when you are secure and confident. You do not need to always have a friend or partner to eat with, watch movies with, take a stroll in the park with etc.
It is all right to feel lonely when you are alone at times though. If you feel lonely most of the time when you are alone, then it is a sign that you are not ready to be in a relationship.
Spending time alone is actually good for your mind. You can better reflect and think when you are left alone. Think about the skills you would need to learn, how you can bless your family, how you can help your friends, how you can increase your salary etc.
#4 You are ready to put someone else’s interests before your own
When you choose to be attached, you must be ready to prioritize your partner’s needs and interests. This includes his/her immediate family.
If your partner’s family forbids him/her from being in a relationship, then there is a high chance s/he is not ready. Getting the blessings of your partner’s family is important as you will want to respect them. You will also want to help them out and be filial to them.
There is a Chinese saying which goes “Love me, love my family”. When you love someone, you must be prepared to love his/her family.
Inner beauty shines and attract quality people. Keep working on yourself and the right person will show up when the time is ripe. A rushed relationship hardly lasts and succeed.
Come back for Part 2!